Meatball Machine / Epic Breakfast Fail
“Meatball Machine” is a wild, splatterific, experimental sci-fi/horror rollercoaster that will have your entire brain and body shaken and stirred. Capable of making biomechanical weapons out of human flesh, alien parasites grotesquely invade the Earth, turning their hosts into maniacal killers who seek and destroy each other to the bloody death! And yes, it’s also a human love story, even though the budding romantics are infested with slimy, tumour-like globules. Co-directors Junichi Yamamoto and Yudai Yamaguchi (“Battlefield Baseball”) pull out all the stops and don’t let up until the final epic battle. It’s a touching testament to young love, blood, and alien ooze that leaves you screaming for more!
2006 – Certificate: Not Rated – Japanese Film
7.0 out of 10
I used to be quite a good cook. Like many things, it’s an ability I seem to have lost. Today I tried to make myself some breakfast, just some porridge and a cup of tea, not exactly rocket science. I managed to burn the porridge to the bottom of the pan, let the tea go cold and fill my flat with the smell of ‘burnt something or other’ that even lighting an incense cone (mesquite) has failed to cover up. It’s all a bit sad really. I suppose it could have been worse; I could have been taken over by an alien. Now that really does mess up your day. By a strange coincidence…
I was very relieved to discover that this film was not about the exploitation of animals and their conversion into a disgusting, processed, flesh-food of the worst kind. Instead, it focuses on humans infested by alien parasites, who take them over, convert them to necroborgs and then go about killing each other in very gruesome and bloody ways. Much nicer, I think you’ll agree. There’s blood and yukiness aplenty in this Japanese movie. That pretty well sums the plot up, other than the inclusion of some soppy nonsense about the two main characters falling in love and ending up fighting. Fortunately, this doesn’t really get in the way of the mess, which does look good. By and large the effects are very nicely done; the little aliens in the tumours have an especially high ‘eew factor’. For a film of this type it’s actually really well made. The overall effect is kind of what would happen if the Borg went to English football matches in the 70’s but in Japan, got really pissed and then went looking for a fight with some rival team’s Borg supporters. Despite all the gruesome action, it’s so comic book like that it doesn’t really leave much of a sickening after-taste. The DVD I have also has good subtitles and loads of extras; a quality release. Recommended.
The music’s there, it does it’s stuff. That’s it really. It works, feels accessible yet still Japanese. Can’t think of anything else to say about it.
Recommended for factory workers, lovers and guys that like to tinker with electronic things.
No cats or chainsaws and 1 decapitation, (plus another head that blows up).
Top badass moment? Sigh. It’s so romantic. The shared love of Yôji and Sachiko, helping them to overcome the power of the alien parasites infesting their bodies, before making the ultimate sacrifice. Well, bollocks to that. Seeing people turned into cyborgs, loads of blood, heaps of gross body parts and that unique Japanese touch that goes into films like this, is far more badass. Give me a huge gun growing out of someone’s chest any day of the week over a candlelit dinner for two.