The Day After Halloween / Real Life Horror
Angela (Sigrid Thornton, “The Man from Snowy River”) is a young hairdresser thrown out of home by her puritanical mother after too many nights out. She quickly falls in with the modeling crowd and does some modeling work herself, while it seems she is being stalked by a mysterious figure driving an ice-cream van! Also known as “Snapshot” and directed by award-winning director Simon Wincer (“Lonesome Dove, “Free Willy”), now see this Ozploitation film in its original scope format – first time anywhere in the world!
1979 – Certificate: R – Australian Film
5.0 out of 10
Next week I have to face one of the greatest horrors in the civilised world. Something so frightening, that juggling with chainsaws with one arm tied behind my back, in a cage full of hungry lions, would be preferable. I have to go to a two-day meeting at work, one that everyone who’s anyone will be at. (I guess a typo somewhere meant I got invited by mistake too.) However, hanging out with the good and the great doesn’t bother me; after all, I’m pretty sure I was born to meet a higher purpose than I’ve so far managed to climb to, so I may as well get used to it. I also don’t mind the fact that some of my more ambitions colleagues may well trample me to death on their way to ‘the top’ as they attempt to impress. Even the thought of conversing ‘professionally’ with people so important that their job titles are almost too long to fit on a business card, is of little consequence to me. (As long as I don’t have to make ’small talk’, as that’s a skill I’ve never developed as I don’t have a life to talk about.) No, what really terrifies me is the fact that right at the bottom of the information I was sent it says, “Dress code smart casual”. What does that even mean? My idea of smart is wearing a new t-shirt that doesn’t have the name of an obscure punk band on it. This requirement has bought into sharp focus the inadequacy of my wardrobe. It’s years since I wore a shirt and I doubt there’s a diet in existence that will prepare me for wearing any of the ones I still own by next Wednesday. In the trouser department things are even more desperate. Can you even iron combat trousers? I think the last thing I ironed was a screwed-up poster of the Buzzcocks to put on my wall when I was a student. When I turn up wearing a hoddie, everyone is going to stare at me as if I’m some sort of migrant worker at a UKIP conference. Life is so stressful. Life as an aspiring model is stressful too, except the smart casual issue probably isn’t much of a problem to one.
Despite what it says on the cover, this film has nothing to do with Halloween, opening doors, answering phones or looking in attics. There’s nothing anywhere in this movie that wants you either. It’s barely even a horror. In fact it’s barely anything at all. I rarely find films boring but this one I did. Get the feeling they’re trying to hide something? It’s competently made and acted, but the script is just so dull. It manages to take some interesting ideas and make them as exciting as watching magnolia paint dry. All the men in it are horrible too, they’d hardly a redeeming feature amongst them. (Actually most of the women are as well.) It was originally called “Snapshot”, which is a far better name for it. About the most interesting this about it is its lead actress Sigrid Thornton, who manages to look convincing as both a model and a woman out of her comfort zone. (Next Wednesday I’ll know how the latter feels.)
The soundtrack is competent without being especially memorable. It’s used a lot too. The ‘Elvis’ is quite amusing though.
In the same way as the DVD cover, I think the trailer is trying to promote an entirely different film.
Recommended for models, stalkers, ice-cream sellers, hairdressers and photographers.
No cats, chainsaws or decapitations.
Top badass moment? Given that this is a dull film with few characters that have any redeeming features, I’m going to have to go for Madeline running down her would-be lesbian lover’s stalker in his Mr Whippy ice-cream van. Trust me, it sounds a lot more interesting that it really is, but I guess it beats most chat-up lines.