Posts tagged “Customer Service

Impure Thoughts / Cactus World Declares War on iTunes


Impure Thoughts  -  Front DVD Cover  -  UK ReleaseFollowing the unrelated deaths of four old school friends Danny, William, Kevin and Steve, they find themselves meeting in the afterlife waiting room, a state of limbo between heaven and hell – Purgatory.  The four friend’s topic of conversation turns to their strict catholic upbringing and the possible wrongs that each has done through their lives that have earned them a seat in Death’s anteroom. Now will their actions as children forgo their future and determine the final resting place of their eternal souls?  A thought provoking film that explores the youthful coming of age and the views held by the catholic church of these adolescent years.

1986  –  Certificate: 12
Rating Details:  Moderate sex references
6.0 out of 10

I’ve been having some pretty disgusting, impure thoughts myself recently.  However, mine concern iTunes’s so called customer service.  Not for the first time, my iTunes account got hacked a couple of weeks ago.  I wasn’t able to reset it so I was forced to contact iTunes to sort it out.  Tying to find out how to get hold of the right person in the right part of the world, was akin to discovering how to levitate through the power of thought, whilst learning to write traditional Chinese, inside  a crater full of molten magma in a volcano on Titan, with a bad hangover.  I did eventually find an e-mail address to use and got a reply from Umair, who sounded like he’d find helping me with my problem as much fun as a three-in-a-bed session with Mila Kunis and Rihanna.  (I’m not a reader myself, but they topped the FHM Sexiest Women in the World poll for 2013.)  Seriously, I really thought my little issue was going to change his whole life for the better, provide him with eternal inner peace and a place in heaven, such was his enthusiasm for wanting to assist me.  Sadly, the latter only went as far as telling me to e-mail someone else and providing a link to another page of Apple-crap®.  What’s wrong with these people?  Haven’t they learnt how to forward an e-mail to the right person yet?  After trawling through more pages of advertising masquerading as ‘customer support’, I finally found out how to arrange for a call-back at a time convenient to me; (as long as it wasn’t for a day or two, as they seemed to be too busy to manage anything any earlier).   So I waited in at the appointed time, my hand poised over my phone, ready for action.  Of course, it never rang.  This evening I e-mailed Umair back and told him that if my account being compromised caused any problems they could argue it out with my credit card company.  I signed the e-mail an ex-iTunes customer.  Bollocks to iTunes.  Bastards.  I hope they all end up in Purgatory, which strangely is where the main characters in this film spend most of their time.

This is a pretty lifeless little movie that only occasionally brightens up.  Not only that, but it’s in mono and the print that was used to master the DVD I watched was dirty and dull too.  I couldn’t even find a trailer for it either, so I’ve just picked a bit of it to show here, although this does seem to have all the best parts in it.  If I’d gone to a convent school, had a Catholic upbringing or a ‘thing’ for nuns, I might have found it a bit more interesting, but I didn’t.  (How such a weird system manages to turn out reasonable well-rounded people most of the time, I’ve no idea.) I did however, learn the difference between venial and mortal sins.  There is in fact only one real reason to watch this film and that’s to see the world’s most beautiful woman, Alyson Hannigan, in her first ever role.  I guess she was about 11 when she made it.  And despite her age, she’s already playing the sort of quirky, sexually ‘interesting’ type of character that she later made famous in “Buffy” and “American Pie”.  That probably makes me sound terribly Stuart Hallish, but honestly, she’s such a tease!

The film’s soundtrack is about on par with the rest of it.  However, it does have “The O-men” as the band at the school dance, which does show it’s got a bit of a humorous, dark heart.

Recommended for Catholics, nuns and Hanniganites.  (I just made that last word up, but I’m sure they probably exist.)  I still can’t get into “How I Met Your Mother” though.  I’ve watched a couple of episodes and it didn’t look very good; too much like old-fashioned American sitcom humour, which anyone with a sense of humour will tell you isn’t actually very funny. 

No cats, chainsaws or decapitations.

Top badass moment?  It’s a toss-up between the lads stealing/drinking the communion wine and Alyson Hannigan’s first film role.  Then again, she’s busy stuffing her bra whilst they’re not even getting pissed.  So really, in the end there’s not a lot of competition.  Given her age, I guess it’s not appropriate to shout, “get ‘em out for the lads”?

Impure Thoughts at IMDB (6.1 / 10)

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Ginger Snaps 2: Unleashed / Amex Customer Service


Ginger Snaps  -  1-3  -  Front DVD Cover (Czech Release)Brigitte is the first work selflessly took care of his sister Hannah, who turned into a werewolf.  Now her suffering worse.  Sam’s sister Brigitte was infected!  In the full moon must figure out how to cure it to prevent further bloody rampage.  At least that’s how Google translates it from the Czech on the cover of my DVD.  I think it’s losing something…  Who’s Sam and why has Brigitte had a gender reassignment?  I don’t remember either of those in the film.  Wouldn’t the world be a much better place if everyone spoke the same language?  Ideally English…

2004  –  Certificate: 15 –  Canadian Film
7.5 out of 10

I have/had an American Express Nectar Credit Card; (that’s the Amex Card that plebs are allowed to have.)  Recently it decided to introduce an annual fee of £25 for the ‘privilege’ of having one.  I, like (I’ve no doubt) millions of other ‘outraged customers’ decided that I didn’t fancy paying for something I can get for free elsewhere.  So I rang up and cancelled it.  There are three things that make American Express ‘different’ to ‘other’ credit card companies (i.e. Visa and MasterCard); 1 – nowhere accepts Amex credits cards; 2 – they identify you as a shallow, egotistic, posh snob, who wants to flaunt his or her success in the face of others; 3 – they have good customer service.  So you can imagine my profound disappointment, when I got a letter a few days later confirming my cancellation.  The letter said; “We are sorry you have decided to cancel your Nectar Credit Card.  For this reason we have cancelled your Nectar Credit Card account as you requested.”  So basically it’s cancelled the card because it’s sorry I’ve decided to cancel the card?  What would have happened if it hadn’t been sad?  Would it had continued to force me to have it and pay £25 a year for doing so?  It seems good customer service stops when you leave.  And yes, I realise that that’s a bit of a boring tale without much of a punch line.  Mountains and mole hills come to mind.

Ginger Snaps is one of the best horror/comedy/teen/fantasy films ever.  So what about its sequel?  Well the comedy part has gone.  The teen bit has also been diluted too.  It’s still got teenagers in it (including the two stars from the previous instalment), but it’s not really a film about teenagers anymore; the story could have featured people of any age really.  Instead we get an out-and-out horror and it’s not a bad one at all.  Smiling less than an emo girl having a bad day, (a part Emily Perkins plays so well), Brigitte is a patient at the Happier Times Care Centre, a rehab clinic where she inexplicably seems to appear after an altercation over a few library books.  I didn’t realise reading was quite that addictive.  Unfortunately, the Centre isn’t a good advert for the voluntary sector providing health services, as most of the staff there are a bit weird or pervy and it looks very much like a rundown prison.  I guess we’ll just have to blame it on funding cuts.  It’s the sort of place Jimmy Saville would have enjoyed visiting.  The ending is a bit rubbishy, but the rest of the film is fine and it’s good to see werewolves being given a bit of ‘quality screentime’; in footballing terms they always felt a bit like Manchester City, if you imagine vampires to be Manchester United; an occasional flash of success but basically always living in the shadow of their more successful, interesting and flamboyant neighbours.  Sadly the stunning Katharine Isabelle (Ginger) isn’t in it very much, but considering what happened to her in the original film that’s not that surprising.  Instead we get Ghost, a slightly creepy 13-year-old, who suffers from Hollywood Child-in-a-Film Syndrome, in that she acts like no real 13-year-old would; perhaps that’s why she was in the clinic in the first place?  (Tatiana Maslany, who I think was actually 19 when she made this film, really doesn’t look her own age.)  Anyway, it’s a very good film, well made, well acted and with decent special effects; but watch the brilliant Ginger Snaps before going onto this one, as it’s a direct sequel to it.

The music is serviceable, but forgettable.  Some rather dull, alternative rock and an infrequently heard film score don’t make it a movie to remember.

Recommended for werewolves, junkies, emos and anyone providing health care services in the voluntary sector.

No cats, chainsaws or decapitations.

Top badass moment?  “I’m going to kill it.  Get me all the sharp things you can find.”  No running away and falling over for her, Brigitte’s outcome-focused approach to dealing with an issue would be welcomed by many in the private sector, keen for employees with a clear vision of what they want to achieve and how they’re going to achieve it.  Mission Drift isn’t something the viewer needs to worry about in this movie.

Ginger Snaps 2: Unleashed at IMDB (6.4 / 10)

Ginger Snaps 2: Unleashed at Wikipedia