Posts tagged “Royal Mail

Pups / Shite Royal Mail

Pups  -  Front DVD Cover  -  UK Release

Rebellious teenager Stevie (Cameron Van Hoy) finds his mother’s gun and along with his girlfriend (Mischa Barton) impulsively decides to rob a bank, becoming a latter-day Bonnie & Clyde in the process.  The pair find themselves in over their heads, as they take hostages and the FBI become involved in negotiating Stevie’s absurd demands.  Head FBI agent (Burt Reynolds) struggles to control the mounting tension in the bank, as he tries to keep the violence from escalating.  “Pups” is an edgy, post-modern response to the growing trend of senseless gun crime in America, featuring “two of the most natural and freed performances I have seen by actors of any age.” (Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times)

1999  –  Certificate: 15  –  Rating Details: Strong Language and Moderate Sex References  –  American Film  –  6.5 out of 10

This week I’m seriously hating on the Royal Mail, the Post Office, Parcel Force, or whatever it’s called these days since it was stolen from everyone and then sold back to a small proportion of us.  In January I ordered a CD from Japan.   Instead of getting my CD, I got one of the dreaded, silver cards, explaining that I owed a £3.85 customs charge, plus a piss-taking £8.00 “handling fee”.  (And my name was spelt wrongly on the card too.)  So anyway, I paid the fees online eight days before the payment deadline but nothing then got delivered.  When I rang up (and it took three calls to get anywhere), I discovered that the CD had been returned to sender as it was claimed I’d not paid the fees.  So I then had to complete a claim (a two page P58) form to try and get my money back, plus the additional postage I’m now having to pay to get the CD reshipped to me, after I’d also had to go and sort that out with the company I’d bought it from.  The claim form itself was totally shit, as in festival toilets shit, as it asked loads of questions that I had no idea of the answer for, yet it was covered in threats telling me that if I didn’t answer them all my claim couldn’t be processed.  The form totally wasn’t designed for what I need to make a claim for.  The online version was even worse, as I couldn’t even get past the first page, or indeed the first paragraph.  I haven’t had a reply yet.  Why do they even need to know half the questions it asks anyway, as my CD clearly got as far as the UK or I’d not have been sent the silver card?  I remember when it cost 3p to send a first class letter (and 2.5p for second class).  Now it costs 93p (31 times as much) and the service seems worse, despite all the extra technology available these days.  It better pay my own, personal £8.00 “handling fee” I’ve added to my claim too.  And if this wasn’t all bad enough, two days ago I got a letter saying I needed to pay £9.14 VAT, plus an even bigger piss taking £13.50 “Clearance Fee” before they’ll redeliver it.  A total of £22.64, nearly twice as much as last time!  The CD only cost £20.34. What a load of bollocks it all is!  Unless the company has seriously undercharged me for delivery, then there’s no way the VAT can be £9.14.  The cost of the shipping would need to come to £25.36 for that VAT figure to be correct and I was only charged £8.03 for it each time.  I shall be interested to see what the packaging says, should it ever actually be delivered.  I don’t mind paying the VAT, but I can’t see how it’s been worked out correctly, or understand why the handing fee has now become a clearance fee and nearly doubled.  Fucking Nazi Postman Pat can fucking fuck off.  I’m going to write to The Queen, it is the Royal Mail after all; I’m sure she’ll go and bang a few heads together when she hears about this.  Right now I can so understand the protagonist in this film.  I feel like I want to go postal.

There’re three things about the US that no one else in the world understands.  These’re its favourite sports, its approach to public health care and it’s obsession with the right to own guns.  This film is about the latter.  It was made 16 years ago, yet despite a seemingly ongoing parade of nutters with guns going into shops, schools, offices and other places during this period, nothing much seems to have changed since then.  That’s kind of sad and reflects badly on the huge number of people there who do actually have some common sense.  This is quite a rubbishy movie.  The whole approach the police take to deal with the situation makes little sense and what Burt Reynolds is up to most of the time I have no idea; he spends most of it sitting in a car waiting for the kids in the bank to do something, pacing around smoking and scowling, or fielding calls from his wife.  The police and FBI seem to have very little control over the onlookers and the press too; there’re armed police everywhere as well as the kids with guns, yet they’re all within a few metres of the bank.  I’m not in law enforcement, but aren’t they supposed to keep everyone well away?  Even when one of the kids comes out waving a gun about they still don’t get the hint.  They seem to have about the same grasp on what to do as the Royal Mail has on postal delivery services.  In fact pretty well everyone seems to have a bit of a death wish.  However, it’s one saving grace is the boy with the guy.  He’s so over-the-top hyper and mad most of the time that it’s worth watching just for his performance.  He’s pretty unlikable, but somehow I feel a certain kindred spirit burns inside him.  Overall, the film is more entertaining than the sum of its parts might suggest.  At least they had a nice day for it, sunny and warm.  I’d imagine if it had been wet and cold, it would have been a much more miserable experience for everyone, especially those outside.

Recommended for school children, police officers and bank staff.

No cats, chainsaws or decapitations.

Top badass moment?  Banks aren’t exactly top of most people’s lists of favourite things right now, so with hindsight I’d like to consider the spontaneous decision by the two kids to rob one on the way to school, as an unconscious choice to stick it to the Man and get our money back.  That’s badass.  You’d do the same thing too, if you had the guts! 

Pups at IMDB (6/1 / 10)
Pups at Wikipedia
Pups at Roger Ebert (4.0 / 5)
Pups trailer at Video Detective

For some weird reason, there doesn’t appear to be an English language copy of the trailer on YouTube!




It’s Another New Year, Again

Like just about everywhere else (on Earth anyway that also uses the Gregorian calendar, so in galactic terms that’s hardly anywhere at all really), New Year has arrived in Cactus World. I can’t say it looks or feels much different to last year, but listen, I’m a reasonable person, I’m willing to give it a few days before writing it off totally.

I’ve not been out much recently, (only once in the last ten days in fact, to the corner shop). I’m starting to resemble Matthew Malone from the slightly obscure (but actually rather funny) 90’s sit-com Game On. Then again, I have been rather busy reading my huge pile of four Christmas cards that I’ve received; that’s three more than I sent too. (As an aside, I’ve been rather struck by the fact that my mum, who died just over two years ago, got more cards than I did, even before allowing for the Royal Mail’s fairly useless redirection service.) Of course, my huge pile of two Christmas presents has been a bit of an issue too, in terms of the mess that’s resulted from their opening totally blocking the route to my front door. It’s amazing how much wrapping paper it takes to wrap a bar of (vegan) chocolate and some novelty plasters (with words like “bam”, “ouch” and “aaargh” written on them).

I should really be asleep at the moment, as it’s the middle of the night. Unfortunately, when I went to bed I found I couldn’t sleep. This is a noteworthy incident as generally I can sleep anywhere at any time, almost instantly. (Somewhat in the fashion of this dog). However, tonight, as soon as I turned off the light, (ha, that rhymes), my mind was filled with the dread of having to return to work next week having done hardly any of the things I was going to “catch up with” over the Christmas break. Having gone to bed, I stupidly laid there in the dark and started to think through the consequences of this failure to its logical conclusion, which started with letting everyone down, followed by redundancy, bankruptcy, living in a cardboard box under the bridge by the river and finally suicide. So I decided to get up and order some food to be delivered instead.

On a lighter note, I have watched a lot of DVDs recently. I’d like to be able to say that the 143 minutes of “The Sacrifice”, Andrey Tarkovskiy’s final film and epic tale of belief and philosophical, religious bargaining was my favourite; or perhaps that classic of cool Blu-ray special effects, heart-rending tragedy and sexy badass villains (by which I mean Catwoman rather than the Penguin) that is Batman Returns; or even perhaps even the depressing, mind-fuck comedy of near art-classic “Synecdoche, New York”. However, the one I liked most was “Bring It On”. I’ve always had a keen interest in cheerleading, honest; and it’s got a vampire slayer and Spiderman‘s girlfriend in it too.

Oh yes, the last two gigs I saw last year were totally awesome!

I’m really tired now…

Right now I’m listening to “Wow” by Cinerama.