Living Life with the Small Screen
I almost never watch TV. I’ve access to hundreds of channels and a PVR, plus more catch-up and subscription services than I can pronounce, but I can count on one, typical, human hand, how often I use any of these each year. It’s not that I’m a telly snob or anything like that either, as amongst all the dross are some really great programmes. However, once in a while I take an arbitrary liking to something, often without ever seeing a single episode, or even a trailer. Whilst I like to watch films and write inane rubbish about them here, I also have a dirty, embarrassing, hidden secret; I’m also a user, a user of TV box-sets. I normally have one or two TV programmes on the go at the same time as the films. (Not literally of course.) I don’t really binge-watch either, so it takes me a long time to work my way through one with a lot a episodes.
Over the past few years I’ve done “Dad’s Army” (so part of my childhood), “Andromeda”, (massively underrated), “The Likely Lads” / “Whatever Became of the Likely Lads” (TV that reminds me of my father), and Red Dwarf (you can’t be a proper student without watching it and learning the silly Rimmer salute). At present I’m slowly working my way through “South Park” and “Pretty Little Liars”.
Sadly, embarrassed by my indiscretions with the ‘small screen’, I rarely write much about them here. This is strange in a way, because however good a film is you only get to spend a few hours with most of the characters, (even with a long franchise). However, with TV you can spend weeks or months with them, years even, investing a huge amount of emotional capital in their lives. This is something even the best film can never hope to match. But no more…
From now on I’m going to attempt, in my usual inept way, to make more of a song and dance about the TV I watch. After all, if I think something’s good then obviously everyone else will too, as I consider my opinion to be the closest the world has got to a standardised, scientific measurement of ‘goodness’… (although I’m still awaiting it’s formal ratification by the General Conference on Weights and Measures.)
Oh, and one more thing. If anyone tries to tell me what happens in the end of any that I’m watching, I will find you. I will find you and I will kill you.