South Park: Season 2

South Park  -  Season 2  -  Front DVD Cover  -  US ReleaseThis season we find out the identity of Cartman’s father, learn about Conjoined Twin Myslexia and thaw out a prehistoric ice man. So join Stan, Kyle, Cartman and Kenny as they take on the supernatural, the extraordinary and the insane. For them, it’s all part of growing up in South Park.

1998  –  Certificate: Not Rated

Average Score:  70%
Kenny Kill Rating:  94% (or 106%)
Carman Badass Quota:  51%
Cats:  7 in 5 episodes
Chainsaws:  1 in 1 episode
Decapitations:  20 in 5 episodes
Number of times South Park gets trashed: 2


2.1  “Terrance & Phillip in Not Without My Anus

Topic:  Canadian being invaded

Kenny Killed:  No.  It’s hard to be killed when you’re not actually around.

Cartman Badass Rating:  0.  It’s hard to be badass when you’re not actually around.

Episode Score:  2/5    1 cat, no chainsaws or decapitations.

Notes:  The episode with no one who lives in South Park in it.  The character of Saddam’s Hussein’s really irritating too, he’s nearly as bad as that piece of poo. (Ha, that rhymes!)  On a more serious note, I can’t help feeling this episode pushes T&P beyond their acting capabilities, which benefits no one, neither the viewer nor T&P themselves.  They’re not Alec Baldwin.

2.2  “Cartman’s Mom is a Dirty Slut

Topic:  Survival  /  Parentage

Kenny Killed:  Yes.  He deliberately sacrifices himself to save all the patients in the hospital, by using his body to reconnect a broken power line.  This results in him being electrocuted and then frozen in the sub-zero weather.  Wow.  That’s seriously awesome.  What a brave little chap he is.

Cartman Badass Rating:  2.  Eric’s concern for the badly injured Dr. Alphonse Mephesto is heart-warming, even if it’s a little self-centered. 

Episode Score:  3/5    1 decapitation, no cats or chainsaws.

Notes:  The second part of the first multi-episode story in South Park.  

2.3  “Chickenlover

Topic:  Illiteracy

Kenny Killed:  Yes.  A tree (some sort of conifer by the looks of it) randomly falls on him.  It’s not a big tree, but I guess he was just unlucky.

Cartman Badass Rating:  4.  Eric demonstrates why he’s exactly the sort of individual that does, in fact, grow up to be a police officer. 

Episode Score:  4/5    No cats, chainsaws or decapitations.

Notes:  I wear Aviators like Carman when I’m driving too; I’m so Tom Cruise circca 1980’s “Top Gun“.  It really does take my breath away.  (They’re not real ones though, just some cheap copy I got from eBay for about £3.)  Books are good.  Atlas Shrugged.

2.4  “Ike’s Wee Wee

Topic:  Drugs  /  Circumcision  /  Family

Kenny Killed:  Yes.  Kenny accidently falls into an open grave at Ike’s funeral, which makes a large headstone fall in on top of him too.  (It’s not actually Ike’s funeral though, but everyone thinks it is.) (And we don’t actually see the headstone land on Kenny, although everyone thinks it does.)

Cartman Badass Rating:  1.  A few little snipes at his mates does not a classic Eric episode make. 

Episode Score:  4/5    No cats, chainsaws or decapitations. However, a doll of Ike does have the top half of its head ripped off by a dog.  Not sure that counts though.

Notes:  Poor Mr. Mackey, a beacon of decency in a town full of idiots.  This episode contains a rare South Park moment of genuine emotion, when Ike climbs onto Kyle’s lap to cuddle him.  Cute!

2.5  “Conjoined Fetus Lady

Topic:  Attitudes to disability  /  China

Kenny Killed:  Yes.  Killed by a Chinese dodgeball player, who throws the ball at him so hard he’s knocked off his feet and carried backwards by the force of the ball, until he’s smashed into the wall behind.

Cartman Badass Rating:  0.  Bloody hell, what a woose Eric is in this episode.  He does sod all.

Episode Score:  3/5    No cats, chainsaws or decapitations.

Notes:  Don’t wind the Brit up!

2.6  “The Mexican Staring Frog of Southern Sri Lanka

Topic:  Taking a joke too far

Kenny Killed:  Yes.  During a near riot on the show “Jesus and Pals”, Kenny is ripped in half by two men.

Cartman Badass Rating:  1.  Yet another weak effort.  You’d almost think he was growing up.

Episode Score:  3/5    15 decapitations, no cats or chainsaws. (We only see 2 heads cut off on-screen, but they rest can be seen laying on the ground after Jimbo and Ned defeat the entire Viet Cong army.)

Notes:  Carman dressed as a woman is strangely erotic.

2.7  “City on the Edge of Forever (Flashbacks)

Topic:  Dreams

Kenny Killed:  Yes.  Twice.  First, a big scary monster rips a hole in the top of the school bus and takes Kenny away, (although you don’t actually see it kill him).  Then later on The Fonz, during an attempt to jump over a number of lorries on his motorcycle (why exactly is never made clear), loses control and his bike crashes into Kenny, resulting in the back wheel crushing Kenny against a wall.

Cartman Badass Rating:  2.  It’s another weak showing from Eric.  A flash of greed with a cake at the beginning is not developed further.  I’m bitterly disappointed.

Episode Score:  4/5    No cats, chainsaws or decapitations.

Notes:  Most of this episode is a dream that Stan has, so much of its content can probably be considered apocryphal, as most of the memories aren’t the same as shown in earlier episodes.

 2.8  “Summer Sucks

Topic:  Poorly considered legislation

Kenny Killed:  Yes.  Twice.  First, his head is blown off when he’s a young child, whilst playing with a firework.  Then he’s pushed through the air by a giant snake firework and lands by a fence, which the snake then pushes over on Kenny, crushing him.

Cartman Badass Rating:  3.  Eric’s not happy having to learn to swim in a pool full of piss and I can’t say I blame him.  He also seems very short-tempered with his friends and walks off in a bad mood on a number of occasions.  He’s just not communicating well at the moment, although his swimming is coming along nicely.

Episode Score:  3/5    1 chainsaw, no cats or decapitations.

Notes:  Wee!  Mr. Hat goes missing!  The town is trashed.

2.9  “Chef’s Salty Chocolate Balls

Topic:  Infrastructure limitations

Kenny Killed:  Yes.  Trampled to death by a crowd of people running out of a cinema after watching the “Mr. Hankey and Me” movie, starring Tom Hanks.

Cartman Badass Rating:  3.  Eric’s selling of the idea of a Mr. Hankey film without telling his friends, plus a total lack of empathy for Kyle’s concerns over Mr. Hankey’s health, is a welcome return to form.

Episode Score:  3/5    No cats, chainsaws or decapitations.

Notes:  The ‘famous episode’ due to “Chocolate Salty Balls (P.S. I Love You)” getting to Number 1 in the UK singles chart.  More frustratingly, the very annoying Mr.Hankey all but dies, but is somehow bought back to life by Chef’s salty balls, twice!  The town is trashed by being filled with poo.

2.10  “Chickenpox

Topic:  Parental rights over their children; how far do they extend?

Kenny Killed:  Yes.  Dies from chickenpox.

Cartman Badass Rating:  3.  Eric’s less than subtle comment’s (and singing Elvis) about how poor Kenny’s family are, abusing the family cat and being really very rude indeed to his mother to get him more camomile lotion for his chickenpox, again suggests that he’s well on his way to a return to form after a weak start to the season. (And yes, I know it says “Calymine” and not “camomile” on the bottles and that it only takes a few to entirely fill the bath, and when Carman immerses himself in it the liquid level doesn’t go up.  And maybe I’m overanalysing things?)

Episode Score:  3/5    2 cats, no chainsaws or decapitations.

Notes:  Gods and Clods. Camomile lotion and The Monkees.  Is it just me that finds Frida a bit icky? 

2.11  “Roger Ebert Should Lay Off the Fatty Foods

Topic:  Hypnosis-led business models

Kenny Killed:  Yes.  He’s accidentally killed by Kyle and Stan when his head explodes, after he’s exposed to a lethal dose of the local planetarium.

Cartman Badass Rating:  4.  With only a relatively small amount of cheating but a relatively large amount of luck, Eric wins a national competition to sing a jingle as part of a Cheesy Poofs commercial.  When he finds out no one saw him on TV because they’d all been hypnotised into going to the Planetarium instead, he get’s a bit pissed off and vandalises the planetarium’s projector, inadvertently saving everyone.  Sometimes it takes a bit of luck to be badass.

Episode Score:  3/5    No cats, chainsaws or decapitations.

Notes:  I loved going to the Planetarium when I was young.  I could even see the London Planetarium out of the lounge window of where I lived at the time.  Sadly (and rather cruelly), I’ve just this moment discovered that it closed in 2006 and is now named the Star Dome and houses Marvel Superheroes 4D.  Another little piece of my childhood destroyed.  :-(  Roger Ebert.  A subtle Star Trek episode.

2.12  “Clubhouses

Topic:  Relationships

Kenny Killed:  Yes.  Trampled to death in a mosh pit. (I can totally relate to this, as right at this moment I’m presently sporting a very large and somewhat painful bruise on my right forearm, from the mosh pit at The Stranglers gig I was at two days ago.)

Cartman Badass Rating:  3.  Eric’s attempt to build a genuinely impressive clubhouse, (I had a good look at the blueprint thanks to the power of the pause button), is less than successful, but with only Kenny to help him the sheer scale of what he does produce is pretty impressive for an eight-year-old.  It’s good enough to attract some older girls too, who sadly don’t turn out to be that interested in either Eric or Kenny.

Episode Score:  4/5    No cats, chainsaws or decapitations.

Notes:   Truth or dare.  Mosh pit!  Wendy’s looking good (as always) and her friend Bebe Stevens isn’t bad either.  

2.13  “Cow Days

Topic:  Misrepresentation

Kenny Killed:  Yes.  He’s accidentally killed by a bull that impales him on one of his horns, shortly after it’s thrown Cartman, (who at the time thought he was a Vietnamese prostitute called Ming Le) in a bull riding competition.  However, as Cartman does set a world record and win $5,000, it wasn’t entirely in vain.

Cartman Badass Rating:  4.  A generally weak performance.  Nevertheless, as Eric spends much of the episode as the aforementioned prostitute and still wins the bull riding competition without cheating, I feel he does deserve a good score.  He obviously impressed  Leonardo DiCaprio too. 

Episode Score: 2/5.  No cats, chainsaws or decapitations.  (A Terrence doll’s head does fall off though.)

Notes:  Not an especially good one.  It tries hard but as a Brit it really didn’t work well for me.

2.14  “Chef Aid

Topic:  Corporate bullying

Kenny Killed:  Yes.  Ozzy Osbourne deliberately bites his head off.

Cartman Badass Rating:  4.  In an effort to help Chef, Eric really does try hard to work with his friends to raise $2,000,000 to save Chef from going to prison.  In fact he’s an almost model citizen that anyone would be proud to call their son.  Well done Eric!

Episode Score:  4/5    1 decapitation, no cats or chainsaws.  (A juror’s head also explodes when he’s forced to try and comprehend Johnnie Cochran‘s Chewbacca Defence.)

Notes:   That does no make sense.  “If it doesn’t fit, you must acquit!  Rancid.  Mr Hat returns.

2.15  “Spookyfish

Topic:  Periods and menopause

Kenny Killed:  Yes.  He’s deliberately killed by Stan’s evil goldfish, which was a present from his Aunt Flo.  The fish jumps out of its bowl, grabs Kenny by the hood of his coat and pulls him head-first into the bowl, before spinning him around inside it very fast and then ejecting Kenny back out onto the floor, minus an eye.

Cartman Badass Rating:  5.  The evil Cartman from a parallel universe ends up in South Park due to a bit of confusion involving a pet shop and an Indian burial ground.  (It happens from time to time.)  The evil Eric turns out to be much nicer than the regular one, but two Cartmans just has to be badass. 

Episode Score: 5/5.  2 cats, 2 decapitations and no chainsaws. 

Notes:  A Halloween episode filmed in Spooky Vision.  Hella!  This is the first truly awesome episode of South Park with lots of fun stuff in it.

2.16  “Merry Christmas Charlie Manson

Topic:  The true meaning of Christmas

Kenny Killed:  Yes.  Shot roughly 35 times by the police, when he comes out of the Carman family house carrying a white flag, during a siege of the building when Charles Manson was holding everyone inside hostage.

Cartman Badass Rating:  4.  A Christmas visit to Eric’s family provides us with plenty of evidence to demonstrate just why he’s grown up to be the little boy he is.  Regardless, it’s hard not to give a good score to an episode with at lest 12 members of the family in it.

Episode Score:  4/5    No cats, chainsaws or decapitations.

Notes:   Riot at the shopping mall!  Charles Manson learns the true meaning of Christmas. (Yeh, right.)

2.17  “Gnomes”

Topic:  Corporate Takeovers

Kenny Killed:  Yes.  Whilst visiting the underpants gnomes’ cave, a trolley full of underpants is accidently pushed off a ledge and falls on top of Kenny.  From what I could see, the  level of health & safety awareness there was pretty poor in general.

Cartman Badass Rating:  1.  It’s a quiet episode for Eric. 

Episode Score: 5/5.  1 cat, no chainsaws or decapitations.

Notes:  Underpants gnomes! The gang experiences the effects of drinking coffee.  Tweek Tweak’s first episode, one of my favourite characters.

2.18  “Prehistoric Ice Man

Topic:  Friendship

Kenny Killed:  Yes.  When he reaches the end of the visitor’s moving walkway in front of the prehistoric ice man from 1996’s habitat, he fails to step off it quickly enough and is draw underneath and through the mechanism, before remerging at the start squashed into its surface.

Cartman Badass Rating:  2.  A quiet end to the Season for Eric.  We just get a general level of background pissing-his-friends-ofness. 

Episode Score:  4/5    1 cat, 1 decapitation and no chainsaws.

Notes:   Ace of Base.  You can’t adapt!  I must say, for all his mild-manneredness, the prehistoric iceman does exhibit a number incidents of violence when confronted with modern technology.  I think he might have some anger management issues to work through.  (No, come to think of it I can relate to that.) 

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