Living Life at the Movies |

Living Life at the Movies

The Internet is full of film reviews, some by professional critics and some by people who do them for a range of other reasons. I like films and I quite like talking about them too, but realised a long time ago that trying to write any sort of meaningful review of them was probably going to be pretty futile; it’s all been said before and probably in a much more coherent and grow-up way; people seem to take this stuff very seriously.

My solution? I decided to use the medium of movies to comment about life. My life mostly, so it’s generally not that interesting, worthy or valuable, but life all the same. I do this in the form of reviews of movies that I watch. Occasionally I actually write something about the films too. I post these into my blog here, along with scans of the covers and (normally) trailers for said film.

Over time they get scrolled down until they disappear into whatever cyber-oblivion exists beyond the bottom of the page, probably lost forever. (Historically, I’ve sometimes posted these on other sites too.) As I’m incredibly big-headed, I thought it might be worthwhile collecting all of these together in one place. And because I’m especially helpful, I’ve even indicated the ‘focus’ of my ‘review’ for each film.

So in an effort to convince you that you can probably find something else better to do than read this, here’s a list of all these films and a nice link to take you directly to the ‘review’. So, em, enjoy!

1 Litre of Tears – 2005 – Certificate: Unknown – Japan – 7.5/10
Dirty Revolution split up

12:01 – 1997 – Certificate: PG-13 – USA – 6.5/10
Drinking coffee at work

13 Going On 30 – 2004 – Certificate: 12 – USA – 8.0/10
The New Town Kings and going to gigs in winter

28 Weeks Later – 2007 – Certificate: 18 – United Kingdom
Being invaded

101 Reykjavík – 2000 – Certificate: 18 – Iceland – 6.0/10
Laying hedges in the rain

Aberdeen – 2000 – Certificate: Not Rated – Norway / United Kingdom – 9.0/10
My Aston Martin

Affliction – 1997 – Certificate: 15 – USA – 6.5/10
Horseburgers, helicopters and high streets

Alien – 1979 – Certificate: 18 – USA – 8.0/10
Tory immigration policy

All Night Long – 1992 – Certificate: Not Rated – Japan
Why conservationists are really geeks

Alone in the Dark – 2005 – Certificate: Not Rated – Canadian/German – 4.0/10
Why writing my Financial Plan is like working for Fighter Command

A Nightmare on Elm Street – 1984 – Certificate: 18 – USA
A comparison of VHS, DVD and Blu-ray

Another Earth – 2011 – Certificate 12 – USA – 8.0/10
Holiday expectations

Attack the Block – 2011 – Certificiate 15 – United Kingdom
Drug dealers and twitchers

Bad Reputation – 2007 – Certificate: R – USA
The place of trees in the English language

Bandwagon – 1996 – Certificate: Not Rated – USA – 7.0/10
The Roberts Stream 83i; (it’s a radio)

Bang Bang You’re Dead – 2002 – Certificate: Not Rated – USA
Suffering from Survivor’s Guilt

Being John Malkovich – 1999 – Certificate: 15 – USA – 4.0 Stars
The Husqvarna Chainsaw Diet

The Believer – 2001 – Certificate: 15 – USA
I reveal I’m probably a Jedi Knight

Blast From The Past – 1999 – Certificate: 12 – USA
My new camera

Bleed With Me – 2009 – Certificate: Not Rated – Danish – 3.0/10
The Royal baby

The Bling Ring – 2013 – Certificate: 15 – USA – 7.0/10
My epic failure to emulate William the Conqueror

Blood & Chocolate – 2007 – Certificate: 12 – USA – 7.0/10
My ‘new’ phone

The Bothersome Man – 2006 – Certificate: 15 – Norway – 3.5 Stars
The role of the liberal middle classes

The Box – 2009 – Certificate: 12 – USA – 7.0/10
Dealing with an outbreak of zombie cyclists

Boy A – 2007 – Certificate: 15 – United Kingdom
Ants

Brake – 2012 – Certificate: 15 – USA – 7.0/10
Inside my car’s boot

Brokeback Mountain – 2005 – Certificate: 15 – USA – 8.0/10
The New Forest

Breaking the Waves – 1996 – Certificate: 18 – Danish – 8.5/10
Being God-like

Buried – 2010 – Certificate: 15 – Spain/USA – 7.0/10
Death of an iPod

Chaos – 2005 – Certificate: Not Rated – USA
Official Olympic products

Choses secrètes (Secret Things) – 2003 – Certificate: 18 – France – 7.0/10
A glimpse into the future of the Human race

Chronicle – Certificate: 15 – USA
My day as an astronaut

The Class – 2008 – Certificate: 15 – France – 7.0/10
Wild rice

Close Encounters of the Third Kind – 1977 – Certificate: PG – USA – 3.5 Stars
I discover aliens really have visited Earth

Cloud 9 – 2008 – Certificate: 15 – Germany
Old age

The Colors of the Mountain – 2011 – Certificate: Not Rated – Colombia – 7.5/10
Comet ISON

Come and See – 1985 – Certificate: 15 – Soviet Union
The consequences of a nearly full e-mail in-box

Cowboys & Aliens – 2011 – Certificate: 12 – USA – 7.0/10
My trip to the dentist: part 2

Creep – 2004 – Certificate: 18 – United Kingdom
The London Underground

Cruel Intentions – 1999 – Certificate: 15 – USA
My irrational fear of music venues I haven’t been to

Cube – 1997 – Certificate: 15 – Canada
I justify buying a Kindle for myself

Cutie Honey – 2004 – Certificate: 12 – Japan – 9.0/10
My longest dental appointment ever

Cyborg She – 2008 – Certificate: IIA – Japan – 8.5/10
Why MusicMagpie is rubbish

Dad’s Army: The Movie – 1971 – Certificate: U – United Kingdom – (7.0/10)
Finishing a bottle of whisky

Dans ma peau (In My Skin) – 2002 – Certificate: 18 – France
Biting my fingernails

The Dark Hour – 2006 – Certificate: 15 – Spain – 7.5/10
My Dell Latitude E4300 learns to twerk

Date Movie – 2006 – Certificate: 15 – USA
The similarities between interviews and dates

The Date After Halloween (aka Snapshot) – 1979 – Certificate: R – Australia – 5.0/10
The horror that is “smart casual”

Death Game – 1976 – Certificate: Not Rated – USA
Modern music and 70s music

Death Wish 4: The Crackdown – 1987 – Certificate: R – USA – 6.0/10
Running out of soft drinks

Death Wish 5: The Face of Death – 1994 – Certificate: 18A – USA – 7.0/10
MxPx at the Camden Underworld

Defendor – 2009 – Certificate: 15 – Canada – 8.5/10
Going back to work after Christmas

Demon Seed – 1977 – Certificate: 15 – American – 6.0.10
I try to survive ‘an emergency’

Deterrence – 1999 – Certificate: Not Rated – France / USA – 8.5/10
Why a nuclear war is easier to arrange than a landline

Digging To China – 1998 – Certificate: PG – USA – 6.5/10
My new printer

Dogma – 1999 – Certificate: 15 – USA – 8.0/10
Having a wisdom tooth removed: the trauma of major surgery

Dread – 2009 – Certificate: 18 – USA – 8.0/10
Traffic jams, computer repairs, police chases and meetings

Earth Day – 2009 – Certificate: Unrated – USA – 6.5/10
My new washer dryer

The Dreamers – 2003 – Certificate: 18 – United Kingdom – 6.0/10
February

Eat The Rich – 1987 – Certificate: FSK-16 – United Kingdom – 5.0 Stars
Trying to spend £500 at Marks & Spencer

Eden Lake – 2008 – Certificate: 18 – United Kingdom
Environmental errors in films

Edge of Seventeen – 1998 – Certificate: 15 – USA – 7.5/10
New Romantics

Emanuelle In America – 1976 – Certificate: Not Rated – Italy – 5.0/10
Building a sauna in my lounge

The Entity – 1981 – Certificate: 18 – USA – 4.5 Stars
Proof that time isn’t a universal constant

Exam – 2010 – Certificate: 15 – UK – 8.5/10
The train as an alternative to the train

Fanaa – 2006 – Certificate: 12 – India – 7.5/10
Why I hate Google

Feed – 2005 – Certificate: Not Rated – Australia – 6.5/10
My diet: day 46

Ferocious Planet – 2011 – Certificate: Not Rated – USA
Having my car serviced

The Fish Child – 2009 – Certificate: 15 – Argentina – 7.0/10
My trip to the dentist: part 1

Five Minutes of Heaven – 2009 – Certificate: 15 – United Kingdom
Royal Bank of Scotland’s ‘software glitch’ (revisited)

Four Minutes – 2006 – Certificate: 15 – Germany – 10.0/10.0
Untrained parents

Freeze Frame – 2004 – Certificate: 15 – United Kingdom / Ireland – 8.0/10
The day I became a Pavement Warrior

Friday the 13th – 2009 – Certificate: 18 – USA – 3.5 Stars
Why job interviews and slasher horrors are basically the same thing

Frontier Blues – 2009 – Certificate: 12 – Iran – 7.0/10
Why asking someone out, begging in the street and writing funding applications are basically identical

The Fruit is Swelling (Mi tao cheng shu shi) – 1997 – Certificate: Category III – Hong Kong – 7.0/10
Why oranges are Top of the Fruits… and mangos aren’t

Funny Games – 2008 – Certificate: 18 – USA – 8.0/10
The downside to being a secret agent and reading on trains

Gattaca – 1997 – Certificate: 12 – USA – 8.5 / 10
My washing machine gives me a Christmas present

Ginger Snaps 2: Unleashed – 2004 – Certificate: 15 – Canada – 7.5/10
Customer service at American Express

Go – 1999 – Certificate: 18 – USA – 8.0/10
Boomtown Fair 2014

Godsend – 2004 – Certificate: 15 – USA – 8.0/10
Magnolia paint

Good Vibrations – 2012 – Certificate: 15 – United Kingdom / Ireland – 8.5/10
How my life is connected to this film

Good Will Hunting – 1997 – Certificate: 15 – USA – 7.5/10
Sleep patterns and toothache

Green Lantern – 2011 – Certificate: 12 – USA – 8.0/10
Dealing with data protection and fear

Gwendoline – 1984 – Certificate: 18 – French Film – 7.5/10
Changing the course of evolution

Hancock – 2008 – Certificate: 15 – USA – 9.0/10
Tony Hancock: superhero

Happiness – 1998 – Certificate: 18 – USA – 8.5/10
Proof that the National Lottery hates Cactus World